Parent One or Parent Two?

Kentucky's Lexington Herald-Leader prints a sad but amusing column on the loss of the mother and father labels in Kentucky schools.

For a total of 21 years and two children, I was a father, a dad. My wife was a mother and a mom. Yet now, according to the Fayette County public school system, it has all been for naught. Alas, we are now merely Parent One and Parent Two. That's right, folks. If you've actually read the myriad forms and permission slips emanating from Central Office, you will find that there is no longer any space for mother or father's signature. Instead: Parent One and Parent Two.

The author blames Dr. Seuss:

I realize that a great number of schoolchildren do not live with their biological mother or father. Yet it's a safe bet that most of those kids are living with relatives who have a very clear concept of "mother" and "father." Then again, maybe there are adults would be happier being called simply Adult One and Adult Two.

It doesn't take a crystal ball to see what's coming. "Oh thanks, Billy, how sweet. Honey, look. Billy made a card all by himself. Happy Parent One Day! Thank you!"

It's all the fault of Dr. Seuss and The Cat in The Hat. When things got really out of hand and Parent One was at the door, whom did he conjure up? Why Thing One and Thing Two.